Kroger Madness!

This is one of those events as we say in the PICU & Peds ER that..."you just can't make this shit up!"...in reference to how crazy some of the stories/situations that we see!

Craig & I picked up Logan from school on Tuesday, and he was sitting at a table over by his sweet little friend Gracie (so sweet that she bit him that day and left a bite mark bruise ...?... :)....no really, she is one of his little friends at school.) Anyway...sitting by Gracie....and she looked like she didn't feel good. The teacher then told us she had thrown up earlier, Drew (another kid in class) had diarrhea, and that she thought a stomach bug was going around. Great.

Next morning...Wednesday morning...We wake up to get Logan ready for school, and what does the little cutie patootie tell me...? "My tummy hurts, Mommy". Great, now we have the stomach bug too. Awesome. Then he proceeded to vomit all over our bed. Even MORE awesome. :) This is a fabulous start to the day. My wild & funny little man is sick. He then later in the day vomited ALL IN MY CAR! Woo HOo.....and it wasn't just a little...it was blow out projectile vomit! Glad my mom was with me when that happened! Anyway...trying to move along the story...or get to the point...for those of you who know and love me, know that I have a problem with this "getting to the point" thing. :)

Thursday, he woke up & felt better so we sent him to school. It had been over 18 hours since he had vomited last so, we thought...short little GI bug done & over. Yeah uh huh. Right.

Thursday afternoon, they called me from the school and told me Logan had 103 temp and had diarrhea & vomited...so I went to pick him up. I was looking a hot mess when I went to pick him up too...so this makes it all the better for later. :) When I got to the daycare, the teacher told me that he hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day. So, now we are going on a good amount of time with no fluid intake, so I took Logan to the doctor, in order to get a Zofran prescription, so that I could get some fluids in him before he dehydrated.  I know that the people in the doctor's office thought we were big fakers, because he was running around there acting like the little monkey that he is...laughing, playing, and running around everywhere!! Once we got out of there with our med order...we headed off to Kroger. By the time we got to Brandon, Logan was starting to get that sick look in his eyes. I had no choice though, we had to get his prescription filled so I decided to go on in to the Kroger.

We pulled into the parking lot, and being the super smart mom that I am, pulled right in next to the buggy drop off spot...good thinking...there is one of those stupid car-in-front buggies right there.  for those of you who don't know what they are...this is what they look like

Logan of course then proceeds to throw a nice tantrum to get into that thing. (side note: I H.A.T.E. those things, because you know all those germy little kids get up in those things and wipe their nasty little germy hands all over everything...Those things are just a Germ Playground)...so I got him inside the store and grabbed one of those Clorox wipes and washed down the entire inside of that car. So he's happy now...I'm hoping I didn't miss any nasty germs for us to pick up...off to the pharmacy. He is also in process of spiking another temp, he was so hot, but he was in that part of spiking a temp of being very cutely delirious. He was showing out...Waving and talking to every, single person in the entire store that we passed. Poor kid...you could tell he was sick. So I run over to the pharmacy, and they tell me 20 minutes to fill the meds...great. Now I can grab him some stuff like pedialyte to drink, blah blah blah, ect...

He was doing so great, and I was just about to head back to the pharmacy when I noticed Logan leaning over to the side in the car. I asked him if he was ok, and he said "mommy, my tummy hurts", uh oh, I'm thinking...He's about to PUKE AGAIN! Oh, how wrong was I...he walked up to the front of the car and there sits the largest amount of diarrhea, green & foamy, that that little car seat could hold. NASTY...it was coming out of the top AND bottom of his shorts, his shirt was stuck to his back from where it had come all out of the back top part of his shorts. I then proceeded to quickly, but silently and internally, PANIC! Then I tried to think to myself, you know what girl...you are the mom of a wild 2 year old, and you are a nurse that works with VERY sick kiddos...This is not the first HUGE dirty diaper that you have ever had to deal with...YOU CAN DO THIS! I kept trying to tell myself this, but boy was I freakin out!

So I then headed over to the baby isle, grabbed wipes & diapers...and headed off to the bathroom. I stopped and tried to figure out the best way to get him out of this car, then figured out...there is not a good way to do this, so I just grabbed him out. There was green, foamy diarrhea dripping out of his shorts and plopping down on the floor, I was so embarrassed! I tried to keep all of that cleaned up as best I could...but just had to to quickly get into the bathroom. When we got in there, I was just about to put him up on one of those changing stations, but realized that it would just send the poo further up his back and probably into this hair...ugh. So I opted to just let him stand there while I stripped him. That was so fun, and I'm surprised still that I didn't get any poo in the kids hair! :) So as he is standing there, with no clothes on in the bathroom of Kroger, I proceeded to clean him up as best we could, but he kept going and going and going! I kept having to stop wiping, to put another diaper on him so he could go. It was all I could do to not start crying or laughing at this point. ...oh wait...I forgot that he PEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR WHILE THAT CLEANING WAS TAKING PLACE!!??? Had to clean that up too! :) But I tried to stop him and picked him up (still with poo all on him) ran to the toilet, and held him over it while he peed. See now, that was supposed to be a momentous occasion...it was the first time that he went to the bathroom in a public "big boy" toilet. I guess it was momentous though, with all of the other details that surrounded it! :) haha.

About 20 minutes later, I finally get him cleaned all the way, and a clean pull up on him. See, the fun part of this is...I have NO clothes to put back on him. So I then had to walk out to get our meds and still check out of Kroger with our few little groceries WITH NOTHING BUT TENNIS SHOES & A PULL UP! I know this is going to be the vision of trash, because remember...I looked like a hot mess too, and now I have a practically naked toddler to walk through the store. Great.

We got out of the bathroom, and I had to then clean out all of the poo in the car, that is so fun. While I was attempting to clean it out, I realized that there is a little opening in the middle of the back part of the seat where the seat belts come through. I suddenly realized...Oh NO!! I walked all the way from the other side of the store, down the baby isle, and over to the pharmacy with poo dripping out of the bottom of the car! UH OH! Nasty!!! Well, I thought, we'll just tell someone, and just get out of here as quick as possible. So with all of this fun going on, I walked up to the pharmacy counter, and proceeded to try to get our meds, while the pharmacist laughing, really just giggling, at us, and told us he had 3 grown kids, and they all did something like that at some point in their life! He said "just part of raising kids!". Yeah, I know dude, and I'm sure this will be funny later...but right now I'm on the verge of tears, so please do NOT laugh at me. I'm standing there trying to get the money out of my wallet, with Logan throwing another tantrum, because he can't get to the water fountain to play in it. As we were standing there looking like the picture of an upstanding citizen family, a lady walks up behind me and starts mumbling under hear breath something about...

"I mean really, how trashy is it to bring your kid into the store in nothing but a diaper"

...or something to that effect. I'm sitting there with my back to her thinking, is this really happening, is she really saying that...along with everything that has happened in this store. Really? OMG! Whatever lady, whatever.

Anyway, about this time, Logan stopped freaking out about the water fountain, and looks at me and said those sweet little words again..."Mommy, My stomach h......." and then VOMITED EVERYWHERE! Great, just great. Would you believe me if I told you that the guy behind the counter started giggling again, and asked me if we needed one of our meds that we just bought for vomiting? Giggling, are you really giggling at me???? I'm about to go postal in this Kroger, and you are GIGGLING AT ME?

We then went on over to the check-out isle. I asked the guy checking us out to get the manager, so I could get him to take this cart to have it cleaned. I told him briefly about the poo, and I must have said it all in Egyptian, because he acted like he didn't have a clue what I said. I told him again, that I had already cleaned it all out, but the poo was stuck in the little fabric weaving of the seat belts. He finally got some part of that conversation, and called the manager over.

The manager comes over, and he looks like an older gentleman, looks fairly educated...uh but didn't act like it. He then gave me the same look when I told him about the seat belt poo, and it dripping in the store somewhere, but I again must have told the story in another language....NO COMPRENDE people? Seriously, clean the wax out of your ears, and learn now to listen when your customer tells you that you have GREEN, FOAMY, INFECTED SHIT DROPPINGS IN YOUR STORE!!!! I'm trying to help you out.

Believe it our not we FINALLY made it home. The moral of that very long story is...those cars on the front of those buggies are NASTY! Don't let your kids get in them. Especially the one in Brandon, because it probably still has that poo stuck in the seatbelt.